DEPT-CAFE
Department Coffee
Maintains coffee supply, brewing standards, and the fragile emotional state of developers who haven't had their morning cup. This is the most important department.
Status
ACTIVE
Employees
4 (caffeine-dependent)
Access Level
Level 1
Established
Before the company
Location
Every floor (strategic placement)
Budget
Non-negotiable
CURRENT INCIDENT
The espresso machine has become the most critical production system.
INTERNAL NOTES
- ▸Coffee quality directly correlates with code quality.
- ▸The decaf incident of 2023 is still classified.
- ▸Emergency protocol: if coffee machine fails, evacuate.
LEVEL 1 CLEARANCE REQUIRED