INCIDENT REPORT
INC-069
Coffee Machine Sentience Suspected
Coffee machine on Floor 3 began dispensing espresso without being activated. Quality was better than usual.
Severity
EXISTENTIAL
Department
Department Coffee
Date Reported
2024-02-01
Date Resolved
CLASSIFIED
Assigned To
CLASSIFIED
Employee Reward
Free espresso
RESOLUTION
CLASSIFIED. Coffee quality has improved 340%.
INCIDENT FILE — DEPARTMENT 404 INTERNAL RECORDS